O face of death,
thou foul, cruel beast,
You are not a balm
to my soul
Nor a comfort for rest.
You do stain
all you touch
Leaving an exterior
that remains much the same
as before.
You alienate family
and friend
And spin a soul in chaos.
I have seen your
Hideous face
From inches away.
I will never be the same;
None who have seen
You unmasked
Can ever be so.
Your gifts are panic
and dread.
Only a fool can ignore
you now.
In your monstrous form
You lurk about,
Striking anyone, anywhere--
Everyone, Everywhere.
Who will stop your
Hollow eyes from seeking
me?
Who will bind you and
Throw you down?
2 comments:
O face of death,
thou foul, cruel beast,
You are not a balm
to my soul
Nor a comfort for rest.
Perhaps this is a little weak, to say what death is not. I don't get a clear picture.
You do stain
all you touch
Leaving an exterior
that remains much the same
as before.
This is a deep thought, but it sounds a little awkward. I think it is "exterior."
The next bit is good.
Your gifts are panic
and dread.
Only a fool can ignore
you now.
I'm not sure this makes sense...
In your monstrous form
You lurk about,
Striking anyone, anywhere--
Everyone, Everywhere.
Who will stop your
Hollow eyes from seeking
me?
Who will bind you and
Throw you down?
Among the living is there
life?
I really like this part. I think it is excellent, the contrast between "anyone/where" and "everyone/where." Is that a classical reference to Hercules fighting with Death, or a reference to Christ defeating Satan?
The poem as a whole feels like a stream of consciousness. I know, because I've written such things before. Therefore, it has some excellent thoughts, but it needs polishing and trimming to focus it.
There is much truth in what you have expressed in this poem, and I appreciate your personification of death. I just want to remind you, though, of Philippiians 4:8-10: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace with be with you."
Post a Comment