I have made some random discoveries while working at the pickle factory:
1. It is nigh impossible to look cool while wearing an x-large white lab jacket, a hair-net of the mushroom shape, respirator, and rose-colored safety glasses. Hence, a marvelous blow to vanity and pride.
2. Prior to his days as keeper of the Preciousss, Smeagol was a maker of pickle relish. There are several pieces of evidence that lend support to my discovery. Let me explain: powered gum (the stuff of which much chewing gum is made) is necessary to give relish its proper texture and cohesion. But this gum also has its effects on the maker. First, the dust from the gum coats all of the skin and clothing of the person, making the person very slimy. This layer of sliminess is very difficult to remove. We can now understand why Gollum was so very difficult to catch. Second, when breathed in, gum will clog the throat and vocal cords. The only solution for removing the gum is to making a hacking, coughing noise, much resembling that noise for which Gollum was renamed. The general odor that permeates a maker of relish also contributes to the antisocial attitude of one such as Gollum; for it can be disheartening to be pushed away from your family just because you stink. (All of this to say that I have been feeling rather Gollumish this summer.) ; )
2 comments:
"I've been feeling rather Gollumish this summer."
*restrains self with difficulty from making unhelpful comments* Well, Ashlea, did I ever tell you that whenever I mention your name, my little sisters ask, "That's the Gollum roommate, right?" because they know what you look like only from that talent show video? ;) ;)
Your job doesn't sound pleasant. I am so spoiled. I sit in a chair and look up homeschool companies on the Internet. :P And take blog-reading breaks.
Looks like I may be driving through KY on the way to school, as we discussed... I'll let you know.
You still around there somewhere, oh my Ashlea?
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